Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Unexpected Ear Surgery Part II

This I had to share. I was walking with our 20 month old and a guy drives up to me and says “Have you seen a little dog running around, looks like a fox?”
“No. What’s it’s name?”
“Foxy”
“I’ll keep an eye out. And you are the most uncreative person in the world.”

So I go in the next day for my ear surgery to remove some tissue with some atypical cells in it. I am very nervous, more about the anesthesia than anything else. After a brief wait in the lobby they called me back and my adventure began.

The first thing you always have to do is “get changed”. Is there anything in the new Obama healthcare package about replacing hospital gowns that cover nothing and are impossible to tie? It’s 2010 people. Let’s advance hospital gown technology, shall we? So while they are working on my ear and I still had to strip and put a gown on. Great.

They gave me a warm towel which was interesting and I sat and waited for the event. The doctor came in and talked to me and told me what he was going to do, again. Cut out the growth in a 2 mm margin down my ear canal. Got it. Then he told me I may need a skin graft but he’ll see how it goes. Wait, what?!

Then the anasthesologist came in and told me that it was safe and there was another Michael Jackson reference. OK, I got it. He used it at home without supervision. I’m assuming there is going to be a bit more supervision here at the hospital than at Neverland Ranch, right?
I have to admit, I was really nervous. I didn’t want to be put under and I have a fear of… all sorts of things. But the doctors did their best to reassure me and I did feel better.

Then it was showtime and I was shown to my warm bed surrounded by machines and tools. They plugged me into the happy juice and made me keep talking.
“Feel it yet?”
“No”
“Wow, you’re a tough one. Think about somewhere you want to go on vacation. Seriously.”

I talked about New Zealand and soon enough I was out. It occurred to me as I was going under that with two children, this is probably the only way I’m going to get any uninterrupted sleep. So maybe I should relax and enjoy it a little bit. But it’s a dreamless sleep. You get put under and you wake up as if no time has passed.

When I woke up I was so nauseous that I forgot to be joyful that I was indeed awake. So I got to throw up and get a nice shot in the leg for nausea. But hey, it worked. I felt better. Then my wife came back and while I was happy to be awake, I kinda wanted to go back to sleep. After effects of the drugs.

So I went home with my ear completely blocked up and was uncomfortable and disoriented for about another day. Then I was just uncomfortable, then just annoyed, which is what I am all the time anyway so I was almost back to normal.

I went back to the doctor a few days later to get all the bandages and the tube out of my ear. That’s when he said,” I have mostly good news for you” said the doctor. I didn’t like the sound of that. Well, I liked the sound of half of it. Turns out everything was benign which is awesome, but the bad news is that it looks like they didn’t get it all. I have to go back in and do it again. Next week. They are going to take more tissue out and it will be a longer recovery. Great. The worst part is that I was just thinking “wow, I won’t have to have anastesia again for a while.” Apparently a while was about two and a half weeks. Meh.

10 comments:

Eric said...

At least you get some uninterrupted sleep.

Next time you should come out of anesthesia like Wolverine did and start going bezerk.

Take out an RN or too.

SciFi Dad said...

Dude, consider the alternative: being awake while they work on you.

I'll tell you, there's nothing like listening to a doctor drill into the bone in your leg, grunting like he's trying to put in concrete screws because (he tells you), you have the densest bones ever.

Aunt Becky said...

You're very special, obviously. You have special growths! AWESOME.

Badass Geek said...

Let me guess: You want to vacation in New Zealand because Lord Of The Rings was made there, right?

Mala said...

Wait? So how did they know they didn't "get all of it"? I'm assuming the little biopsied piece didn't tell them, which would mean they knew it whist slicing and dicing your canal... which would lead one to conclude that they quit before the job was done. What was it, lunch time? Oprah? Two for one at the strip club?

Wishing you a speedy recovery (and again).

Juli Ryan said...

I had the exact same reaction to anesthesia when I had my wisdom teeth removed. (They were benign.) Yeah, I would have been a bit annoyed if like they told me they forgot a tooth and needed to put me under again.

But you're hot stuff in the court room. Maybe you can sue.

P.S. You should totally come to New Zealand. It's so, you know, clean and green. And there are sheep. You'll love it!

Chris Mancini said...

Thanks everyone for the well wishing. And yes, It's because of Lord of the Rings I want to visit New Zealand. And because of Xena.

sherri said...

"you are the most uncreative person in the world"
"Let’s advance hospital gown technology, shall we? "
"going under that with two children, this is probably the only way I’m going to get any uninterrupted sleep."
you sir, are hilarious.
and sorry you have to go under the knife twice. that sucks.

Vodka Mom said...

come on over here- I'll knock you out and do it myself.


no gown required.

Cheeseboy said...

I love how all your ads are about ear reconstruction. You are making these people money.

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