Hot Chicks Beating the Shit Out of Each Other

Now, I’m home during the day with the baby. I know that first sentence doesn’t really match the blog entry title, but stay with me. It will. Like I said, I’m home with the baby. In order to pass the time during bottle feedings I put the TV on and browse through Time Warner Cable’s lame and random on-demand programming selections. This one fateful day, I stumbled upon the music section which had videos of bands I had never heard of. Granted it’s been a while since I’ve been up on the latest bands, but what the hell. I’ll check it out. Choose Rock, Metal, got it.

I stumbled on a video by Rev Theory called “Light it Up.” I was like a deer caught in headlights. The band was playing in some kind of basement but it was like some kind of fight club, but with hot chicks. You heard me. Hot chicks drinking bottles of vodka and then beating the shit out of each other. Scantily clad, of course. And the band was old school metal.

All the staples were there: screaming, long hair, tattoos, partying, implied alcohol and drug use. Okay, maybe not so much implied as overt. And they were clearly having the time of their lives. I realized that I had just seen the first almost anti-post modern heavy metal testosterone drenched video fantasy. Sex AND violence at the exact same time! Like video peanut butter and chocolate for guys. Of course if they could have added actual peanut butter and chocolate… OK, maybe the sequel.

I couldn’t tell you what the song was about. I couldn’t even really make out or remember one word of it. Al I know is that the video was… viscerally absurd... and it reached in and grabbed my brain through the eyeballs.

Just one note to the director: When you’re shooting fight sequences, even fake girl on girl pugilism, film your “actresses” from an angle where we can’t see the near misses during punch fests, OK? Quit making it harder for me to suspend disbelief!

At one point one the well endowed chicks gets knocked down. She gets back up, grabs her large breasts in defiance and comes back swinging. Damn! I felt a warm glow inside. What could be more patriotic than a hot blonde chick with big tits who won't stay down?

I watched the video multiple times, for various reasons. It was mesmerizing every time. I think I learned something at the end. I’m not sure what, but I think it has something to do with the fact that while I just saw the perfect music video, if I ever saw my daughter in one like this I would probably hang myself.